Our January

When 2013 came to a close, so did my 365-project.I swore I'd never do one again. I was anxious to put my camera down; perhaps it'd be slightly freeing, I thought. Then January 1st came & I needed to take a photo. I couldn't help it. As the first days of 2014 rolled by, a picture a day kept happening. It's as if the camera became an extension of myself. At some point- each day, I pick it up. I don't 'have' to, but  I want to- because my life is happening before my eyes; it's a little bit wild, rarely quiet, a lot of happy & it's ours. The best part of this adventure? We're home. My idea of a big adventure has changed- it's not big backpacks, foreign languages, new cultures & long bus rides. Now my big adventures are trips to the grocery store, juggling nursing & dinner, refereeing the boys' wrestling matches, getting three kids out the door on-time, & wondering if I'm completely screwing up my children, or setting them up to be hardworking, honest, loving, creative, respectful little (& one day big) humans. There's a time when I may have thought these adventures would seem boring & lifeless.

Today, I watch it & participate in it, & it's the best yet.

The Dreamcatcher

Sleep. Most nights, he says he doesn't like bedtime.All nights, he's beyond tired. And when he needs to sleep, he needs it. All twelve hours of it. But right now, he's in a nightmare phase, & he doesn't want to sleep in case he has a bad dream.

It's heart wrenching- knowing they feel this way, thinking of all the ways to comfort them. Trying so many different creative ways to make them feel safe, yet knowing once again it's not working. That it's a 'normal developmental stage.'

Because even when the full hour of bedtime is calm & relaxing, it just takes that one sentence, in that one minute, 'I don't like bedtime, I have bad dreams,' to rip your heart out again. Even if a minute later, he's slumbering, even if he sleeps all night long & wakes up happy; words are a powerful thing.

'The Dream Catcher is to be hung by the window or at the head of you bed. Traditional beliefs hold that dreams come from outside ourselves. Thus the dream catcher is meant to act as a spider web & catch the good dreams to ease us through the day. The bad dreams pass through the hole in the center to be burned up by the rays of the sun. The feathers symbolize air or the breath of life.'

The Winterless Winter

I once read an article that suggested you only talk about weather if you're bored. It probably was in Cosmo, or something; this was years ago. It always stuck with me, mostly because we always talk about weather here. 'We' as in those who live in Kodiak. Weather is such a central part of our every day- planes don't make it in & out of our island on a regular basis, which impacts a lot of lives on a regular basis. One day it's mid40s & raining, the next day it's 20 & sunny; followed by 70mph winds & rain. You just never know what you're going to it. This winter has been a little bizarre weather-wise. If I didn't have photos of us playing in the snow, I'm pretty sure I'd forget there were two snow days in the past two months. Instead, we're moving into weeks of rain. With four days left of the month, & the rain pouring hard as we speak, we may break records for the wettest one yet...& then we read online about the freezing temps elsewhere, or the drought in California. Who would've thought you'd need to escape to Alaska, to escape the cold? 'A great, great deal has been said about the weather, but very little has ever been done.' -Mark Twain

Peace

Two-&-a-half-weeks ago, my oldest turned seven. He's wild, loud, rambunctious, kind, loving & incredibly intelligent. I asked him for a few pictures, as a seven year-old. He wasn't too keen on the idea, but he obliged; this is his space- his desk, he quickly decorated with stickers & markers.

His tee-ball trophy, he received for playing a couple seasons ago; the black sticky substance on the bunkbed, that seems to perfectly hold his shrinky-dinks; his stegosaurus model (he wants to be a paleontologist); & his lego Chima- he's thoroughly obsessed with them. This is his little spot of peace.

'Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things & still be calm in your heart.' -unknown

21 Months

Ella & the balloons

With the close of my 365 project, I thought I'd be taking less pictures in 2014.I've proven myself wrong. In fact, I think I'm taking more. Not quite ready to say I'm doing another 365, but I am trying to keep shooting- to learn, to grow, to experiment, to have fun.

'Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.' - A.A. Milne